Anxiety 101

One thing I haven't really addressed on my blog yet is my anxiety.  Sometimes my anxiety manifests itself in panic attacks, sometimes I have bouts of depression, I have a many symptoms of OCD but generally I am just a complete stress ball.  I have tried a number of different medications to help me with the disorder.  I also go to therapy every other week.  The latest combination of 40 mg of Prozac and therapy definitely did the trick in terms of reducing my anxiety levels.....and then we decided to start a family :)

Peter and I along with the help of my therapist and my psychologist worked out a plan to get me emotionally ready for the drastic reduction in medications necessary to safely create and carry a baby.  This is another reason that I went to so many preconception appointments too - we wanted an OBGYN opinion in the mix.  Very long story short, starting back in April I gradually scaled down my meds.  Currently, I take only 10 mg of Prozac!!  As soon as we know for sure that I am pregnant (which FYI: I still feel that September is the month!) then I will stop the Prozac completely.  This is completely safe as most medications do not pass through the barrier until 8 weeks after conception.  Plenty of time to get a positive pregnancy test!

Now generally, I am feeling good.  A couple of times I have been near a panic attack but caught it in time and was able to talk myself out of it using tricks learned in therapy.  This is great progress for me!  I have some other anxiety symptoms including irritability, repetitive negative thoughts, a little bit of crying, etc.  These are very light though compared to what I have experienced in the past.  I feel like I am ready to move forward in my life!!

A funny side note: My therapist thought it might be helpful to make something for the future baby.  She thought a project might help me to stay focused on the goal and think of something other than work once I get home.  She suggested that I paint the baby's room or knit the baby a blanket (I disagree, I think this is bad luck).  Because I still have some small emotional episodes, I was thinking to myself, "Wouldn't it look pretty crazy if Peter came home from work and I was sitting on the couch crying and knitting a a baby blanket??".  Yeah, I don't think I am going to take that nugget of advice.